Keynote Speech by Washington State Senator, Paull Shin

I feel indeed moved by the pictures we have just seen which epitomize the love that adoptees experience in the Untied States. On behalf of Korean adoptees I wuld like to take this moment to thank you the adopitve parents. It is you who made these things happen. It is you who made this dialogue possible. Let me preface my remarks by saying it is Kipling in the 19th century who said East is East and West is West and the two shall never twain. In the Korean tradition it is said that blood is thicker than water, but let me testify to you love is much thicker than blood itself.

I was pondering on whom my speech should focus and since I am an adoptee and also an adoptor I would like to focus my speech on young people, adoptees and the families of adoptees, because I know you have joys and responsibilities at times some frustration to go through on your life path,, I hope my presentation may in some ways be a personal edification to you. I too am an adoptee. I was born in Korea, I should say I was made in Korea and I was recycled in the United States, which made a chop suey. But at age 4 my mother died and my father disappeared. I don’t’ know where he went. Having no choice, I went to my grandmother’s home on my mother’s side. I was there until age 6, for two years. In a country under Japanese occupation, for the Korean farmers it was a very poor country. The food was hard to come by. And I was an extra mouth to feed. And I could feel even as a child of 4 years, the presence of some sense of a discrimination, but I overlooked that. And some how when I visited neighbors they somehow hid the food. I always wondered why.

When I was 6 I was playing outside. This is the kind of story I don’t like to tell because it is embarrassing, but because of you folks here, I will tell it as a focus for you. I cam home from playing outside and I saw an aunt in that grandmother’s house with a piece of yut. Yut is a little rice cake. With a stick of wood she broke it into pieces and she was distributing that rice candy to children in the family. As a 6 year old boy, when you look at a yut , of course you long for sweet stuff. I thought I want a part of that. I asked for some, but I was denied and since I was hungry and I wanted that sweet yut, you know I went behind one other child and took it away and ate it. For taking away and eating that little piece of yut, I was beaten so much that I was bleeding from my head and all over my body. That night I couldn’t contain myself. When it became dark , I sneaked out of the back door and I walked across to the train station. From there I walked to Seoul, the capitol city, which is about 25 km. While walking at 6 years old, I wondered why. We as humans in the biological sense of the word, call our selves to be homo sapiens the highest creature. Some even do not have a place to go. Why is life unfair? What is life for? I thought about these things, but the conclusion I came up with is some day, some day I’ll have enough yut to share with other people. That was a dream. I had when I was 6. Coming into Seoul, the capital city, I couldn’t find any yut or any means to find yut. The life of a 6 year old on the street, well you can imagine how it was. First of all I was hungry. I had no place to go. Therefore my life consisted of standing on street corners begging for food to stay alive. I didn’t mind it in summer time, because it was warm, but in the winter time it was awfully difficult.

I had never gone to school, never had a home cooked meal, and when I was 15 the Korean War came about. Having no place to go I got a job working for the US army as a house boy. My job was polishing the shoes, washing the clothes, and looking after the military personnel. There, I met a person whose name happened to be Dr. Ray Paull. Whose last name I took as my first name and kept my surname for my genealogy purposes by mutual agreement. He adopted me. When I first came to the United States, I was 18. Landing in the United States was an awesome experience for me. First night in America , after the evening meal, my father asked me,"Now son you are in America, what would you like to do?" I said, "Father, I would like to be educated." He said, "Good since you are 18, tomorrow why don’t you and I go to High School?" I had to make a first confession to him. "Father I am sorry I cannot, for I have not gone to school in Korea." He looked puzzled and said, "not even grade school?" I said," no sir. I have not." He said, "that’s ok lets go to grade school tomorrow." So we did and I was rejected by the principal, who said, "I am sorry you are too old for this school. I am sorry." That was my first rejection. So my father said, "lets go to middle school." Which we did. Again the principal, with the same characteristic smile, said, "I’m sorry." My heart was beating and my dad said, "well lets go to high school." Which we did. And the principal looked at me and he said, "you have no grade school, you have no junior high school., how can I take you I’m sorry." I didn’t’ know why all the Americans said, "I’m sorry." I thought that this was the only language they knew. As I heard my sorry, I don’t know why I became so emotionally choked up. I just burst into tears and cried like a little kid. He said, "why are you crying?" I said, "sir I came to this country to be educated, but I am afraid that the education has just become an impossible dream for me." He said, "do you really want to study that much?" I said, "yes sir." "Good in that case. In America for boys like you we have a special program called GED. If you study by yourself and pass the examination, you get a high school diploma and you can go to the University. Would you like to try that?" I had no idea what GED was, but the thought of going to school excited me, so said that yes I would. During the day he provided a special tutor for me, Mrs. Evans, who taught me English., Social Studies and History. At night time it was my farther who was a dentist who taught me chemistry, math, and physics. So I could have a GED. We went on from there until one or two or sometimes 3 o’clock in the morning. This is the kind of love I had. Fourteen months later, I passed the GED. My first formal education in the United States was at the University. Many years later, I finished my Ph.D. When I walking down with the degree in my hand, this time my father started to bawl. He bawled like a little kid. And this is what he said, " Thank you my son for your accomplishments." I said, "dad it is I who shall thank you. You brought me out of no where, provided a home, love and education and, above all, my right to be me. How can you thank me for that? The two of us embraced together and cried.

Now the question is you and I have a lot in common. You are adoptees, I am also an adoptee. According to the statistics, they decided that I was the oldest adoptee. Do I look that old? I don’t think so. When I left Korea in 1955, I spit on Korea, old country I will never see you again. Korea land of hunger, land of discrimination, land of war, land of poverty, land of no education. I wanted to become American, think like an American, act like an American. And that is how I proceeded. But you know that life in the United States was not altogether that easy. All the love and care and the sense of belonging that I experienced not withstanding. People would ask me, "are you Chinese?" I said no "Are you Japanese?" I said no, "Then who are you?" "An American." "No no no where do you come from?" It doesn’t matter how you try, somehow as a Korean, I experienced some disadvantages. Discrimination is rampant. America. America in the 1950’s and America in the 1990’s are like day and night, let me tell you.

In 1957 and 1958 I was in Japan studying. One day I was walking through the down town street in Yokoyama, and a gentleman came out. He says, "Aren’t you a Korean kook?" What could I say? I said yes. Without saying a word, he went to the backyard and brought out a big German Shepherd and released him to bite me. That dog bit me so much I was bleeding all over. And after the dog bite, again I asked myself the question, "Who am I? Why is it that because of my national identity I had to be bitten by a dog in Japan, and in Korea I had to be discriminated against because of social conditions?"

In 1958 I was drafted into the US Army taking basic training in Fort Hood Texas. Weekdays, we spent time in the base. Weekends, we liked to go to a nice restaurant for civilian food. One day some white friends of mine and I got on a bus and went to a city called Temple Texas WE wanted to experience fine cuisine. We saw a nice restaurant and started to walk in there. My friends all walked in and I wanted to enter, but I couldn’t; because in front of the door it said, "For Whites Only." I paused and raised the question, "what am I doing?" I hesitated and my buddies said, "come on Paull you are in the army. We are together." So, they dragged me inside. The restaurant was about the size of this place here. We were sitting in the corner and sure enough the manager saw me, and he was exceedingly upset. He ran towards me and asked me, "What are you doing here?" Without waiting for my answer he picked me up with two hands and walked all the way across the restaurant with everyone in the restaurant watching me. He kicked the front door open and threw me out. As I hit the concrete my seat hurt, but I came to the base and cried all night. When I woke up in the morning I was like a wet noodle. I thought about it somewhat and offered a secret prayer in my heart. This is what I said, "Someday I will serve you. Someday I will serve you." Because through my experiences, one thing I learned in the United States - you can transform negativism into positive affirmation. It wasn’t easy, but I took the negative experiences and changed them into positive experiences. Some of you here, adoptees through out the country may have had some experiences like I had. Not to this extent maybe but some of you may have.

Not too long ago in our state a young agoptee 16 years of age, had adoptive parents who got divorced. He didn’t’ know where to go to. As a result, he committed suicide. He left behind these simple words "Who Am I?" And he took his life. And I try to empathize I try to see what he must have felt inside while committing such an act. May I say to you. You are born in Korea and you come to the United States, adotpee or not, the fact that you and I have this Korean blood we cannot change. We cannot eradicate that. We have to make what we can, the best we can. First of all you have a loving family. But, what you are going to become, that is up to you.

The prayer I offered that someday I will serve you caused me to go to school after my military duty. I have been teaching college for the past 31 years. I just retired two years ago. I thought about what can I do to minimize some of the obstacles and problems we as immigrants and adoptees have in the mainstream of the country. I want to help someway to minimize that problem. Actually what cam to my mind was yes I taught 31 years. Yes I have had 27,000 students that I have experienced the honor of teaching, but I still was not making an immediate and direct impact. And I thought about politics but it seemed beyond me. How can I, with a face like mine, run for an office and expect to be elected? I thought about it ant thought about it, but I could not work my courage to do it. The past 20 years, in the 1970’s and 1980’s I was an advisor on international trade to four governors. In 1987 on the way home from China on a trade mission in the airplane my governor said, "Paull with all your economic savvy and understanding of America why don’t’ you run for an office?" I was gratified he asked me. But I said, "me this color? How could I? No thank you." But the more I thought about it, the idea appealed to me. But I was scared. Let me tell you ladies and gentlemen., it took me over four years to overcome that fear. And finally in 1992, I decided. I think it was Roosevelt who said you have nothing to fear but fear itself.

But, I had this fear. So I ran for the state representative position. And to my dismay got elected against a fourth term incumbent. That night of the victory something happened to my life. The press, American friends and Korean constituents came up and congratulated me. But about midnight two second generation Korean American students came to me . They said we came to thank you. And they started to cry. I said why are you crying this is a time for celebration. They said because our mom and dad were here we were born here, we grew up here, but because of our color we grew up with a sense of a complex, not knowing what to do or where to go. What you did tonight, gives us a role model. Because you could do it, we will try also. You know the three of us embraced together and cried for a long time because they had the same fear that I had.

You adoptees you have a wonderful family, but you have to carve out your own destiny. Your paretnst brought you here and gave you love and a home, but what you do with your life is up to you. May I suggest to you, as you move into the 21st century, choose a goal. I think it is Martin Luther King who said, "I have a dream." When he said I have a dream , he wasn’t talking about just himself. I think he was talking about all human kind. And you shall have a dream. You shall have a dream that can be realized in this country. I am writing a book on Overseas Immigration to the United States. The Koreans in Russia, Koreans in China, Koreans in Japan, Koreans in the United States. Of all the places I see. This is the best place where you can find your own identity. It is a Greek philosopher who once said. Know thyself. Ask yourself the question, "do you know who you are?" You need to find who you are first. Once you find out who you are, then you can set your foundation and move on. You don’t have to be a white person like Bill Gates, to become the richest man in the world. It is you who also could become another Bill Gates. I was in Korea a couple of weeks ago giving a lecture to 14 different universities through out the country. My message was to them as they move into the 21st Century, it doesn’t’ matter where you are. You are not a student of Korea alone. You may be a student in Seoul, you may be a student in Kwangju, but you are a student of a global situation. In finding your own identity, you can find your position there.

I know there are problems, sometimes people look at you differently and ask you odd questions. Even in politics I had this experience. More than I care to I was called a Jap, many times. More than I care to I was called a Chink, many times. In one case I had a person come talk to me. He said, "all you orientals are everywhere. Why don’t you go home?" You know I got upset. I was extremely angry. I didn’t know what to do. I was about to punch him. But, can you imagine the front page newspaper the next day, candidate beats constituent. Then I thought about it a little bit and I decided to use humor. So I said, "you know I am glad that you told me a place to go. But this is my home what do I do? I have been in this country for 44 years. I have been teaching your children in college for 31 years, I have been in the US Army. My wife was born here. My children were born here. My grandchildren were born here. I have been paying taxes for 42 years and I have been in the state legislature. Where do I go? This is my home? When he heard that he was very apologetic, felt some remorse about saying what he had said. When I say that change in his complexion, I thought, Ah this is my chance. I said your know my understanding is that this is a land made of immigrants I tell you what, since your ancestors came first why don’t you go first and I will follow you. I was afraid of what I had said. But, he looked at me and he came hugged me. He said buddy I will support you. And he became my friend. He campaigned for me. Because in that heart was a heart of gold. But to find that heart of gold, he needed some experience.

Two years ago I was a candidate to be a US ambassador to South Korea. Out of about 27 candidates, I made it to the three finalists. The interview was in the white house for about four hours. They asked me questions on foreign policy, history, nuclear weapons, and national security measures. But one of the questions that the state department personnel asked me was "Dr. Shin, Suppose you become an ambassador to South Korean and there is a conflict between Korea and the United States which side would you take? I didn’t know what to say. Of course I could have said the Untied States. Then they may ask what about your Korean side? I thought about it a long time. I don’t know exactly how to say it I gave a little silent prayer and this is what I said to him. You know I am sure glad that you asked me that question. Let me tell you how I feel inside of me.. This is how I feel. America to me is my father land. This land gave me family, home, love, education and the right to be me. Renee Descarte of the 17th century said, "I think therefore I am." America provided an education for me to think, therefore I know who I am. Therefore America is my fatherland. Korea on the other hand is my motherland Korean gave me my life, my blood, and my heritage. You asked me a question. As a son, which side would you take? I looked him straight in the eye as I answered his question. Which side would you take? There is no answer. And my answer to him was what I as a son what is for my mom and dad to get along most beautifully. This what I want and this is my answer. And from that interview, I was elevated into the three finalists. I did not make it, but you know what, you are going to made it next time.. Because we are always building bridges to that final analysis. Ladies and gentlemen thank you so much.

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