To Kaan
Honestly speaking I never though an organization and/or community would ever exist. A few months ago reading KQ I was so surprised and excited to hear of a conference that included Korean Americans, Koreans and the adoptive family! I never thought Korean adoptees would be included, recognized in the Korean American community. Our multi-dimensional approach is definitely a key to unlock peace and state of mind for adoptee in their 20's like myself and for the younger generations. Finally all of the issues that roam by thoughts and keep me up at night are finally addressed!!!!

I am impressed with you incorporation of birth mothers, social workers, Korean American community etc. For unlike my adoption agency, they promote a one-sided perspective and wouldn't even admit issues such as racism, language, rebellion, search, identity. I feel they promote Americanization and Christianity and disregard our ethnic roots. I feel like the conference put closure to a lot of my issues with adoption. Now I know others feel like me, admitting and claiming their heritage, and that a community of information and support is available. Your social science perspective also gives positive and beneficial merit through the whole adoptee paradigm. I can go on and on about the conference. Today I feel I can finally close so many years of hurt, misunderstanding and confusion knowing my path so much to look forward to. Please keep me updated on info and events so adoptees in the Detroit area can be in tune.

Yun-Sook Kim Navarre, Adult Korean Born Adoptee, Detroit Michigan

To Kaan
Beautiful Korea, rich in history and wondrous culture, is and always will remain the first homeland of four of my children and so, strongly imprinted on my heart. Never has that lesson come home to me more deeply than while attending a remarkable gathering of people connected to each other because of the many Korean children who, over the years, had found their way into American homes through international adoption.

Korea had entrusted these precious young lives to those who lived afar, envisioning that U.S. families would help them to develop pride in their heritage and knowledge of the wonderful Korean people to whom they are forevermore connected. They encouraged the adopting families to teach their sons and daughters about Korea.

Now, many of those who were adopted early in the history of Korean intercultural adoption are now adults. They have grown to be fine, remarkable, successful adults. They have not lost their connection. Many are traveling to Korea, involving themselves in the Korean American communities around them, joining together as adult adoptees to explore what it has meant to grow up in the United States as members of transracial, transnational families. They are interested in voicing their thoughts and opinions about their continuously evolving dual identities and the many factors that have contributed to shaping their lives. They seem to see themselves as Korean Americans, yet set apart in a unique way from their counterparts who grew up within Korean American families, but still connected to their Korean roots.

A very long in coming gathering brought together representative factions of all those who have been involved in Korean adoption and the lives of Korean adoptees, both in Korea and in the United States. KAAN (Korean Adoptee Adoptive families Network) presented its first annual national conference in Los Angeles in July. It was attended by adult Korean born adoptees, adoptive parents, young Korean adotees, birth parents, members of the Korean American community, Korean government representatives, and adoption professionals who have been involved in Korean adoption. It was a long awaited opportunity for those interwoven groups to talk together about how the lives of all those touched by these adoptions have been impacted by international adoption and to understand and gain respect for the various perspectives amongst those who live within the adoption triad (adoptees-adoptive parents-birth parents).

The conference also provided an opportunity for those who have been involved in Korean international adoption to celebrate the beautiful and colorful culture which binds them together. The Korean American community very generously and joyously shared music, traditions, food, and friendship with all those who attended the conference. In turn, the conference attendees were able to acknowledge and thank the Korean American community for their kindness and the acceptance that has embraced them, strengthening their connection to Korea and its people.

Over the years that adoptive families have been raising children born in Korea, adopted into the United States, they have learned that one of the most important ingredients in helping their children develop into successful adults who know and like who they are is direct experience with the Korean American community. Without this, children can become cut off from their roots and a significant part of their identity. It is only through the generosity of the Korean American community welcoming these families into their midst that families have been able to see their children through to adulthood with pride in their origins and a deep sense of rootedness to others with whom they share their ethnicity. The KAAN Conference reinforced the necessity of adoptive families continuing to nurture and value these connections for the sake of the children currently growing up in U.S. homes.

Jane Brown, Adoptive Parent, Scottsdale, Arizona

To Kaan
It was comforting to be around other adoptees and learn how they solved their racial problems.

David Winston, Teen Adoptee, El Dorado Hills, California

To Kaan
A Tapestry of Voices and Energies Raised in Unity was the theme for this year's conference. There were representatives from the Korean government, Korean American Community, Korean adoption agencies, Adult adoptees, Korean birthmothers, teenage adoptees, adoptive parents, adoption educators, and others. in attendance. It was a rare opportunity for all these people to be together in one place and share ideas and information with each other.

As an adoptive parent of young children from Korea, I was most interested in talking with older adoptees about their childhood experiences and hearing from Korean Americans about their lives in the United States. There were many opportunities for learning and communication some were during formal sessions and some were just in conversations that took place in the hallways, over lunch, and in various other places.

Dr. Joyce Pavao, the founder for the Center for Family and an adult adoptee was a very powerful presenter. She spoke on the dynamics of transracial adoption, recognizing and dealing with adoption issues, recognizing and dealing with crisis in adoption and some resolutions to these issues. She spoke of the importance of acknowledging each child's feelings and being able to understand that children often do not verbalize their feelings but may show them in different ways.

Many adult and teen adoptees who attended various sessions voiced their ideas and concerns on issues such as isolation, positive self image, role models, racism, talking to parents, understand their Korean heritage, and sharing with other adoptees for the first time. Birth mothers discussed their reasons for relinquishment and the pain they have endured for all the years since placing their children for adoption. Adoptees were able to ask them questions and see and hear real birthmothers answer their questions and feel their emotions. Search and reunion was also a topic that seemed to be on lots of people's minds and there were sessions to help with those subjects.

Representative from the Korean Government were there to answer questions relating to the current adoption laws in Korea, voice concerns about changes that may be needed and explain the various programs in place in Korea and how to promote domestic adoptions in Korea. My children and I were able to meet Rev. Kim, the president of Social Welfare Society in Korea. Opportunities like this are rare and the conference was full of them. We were also able to interact with adoption educators and support organization founders who have years of experience and share

our ideas and views. This was extremely valuable to me because our local support organizations lest than five years old and I was able to get insight into how they may progress and what we can do to improve them.

My son was able to play Korean drums, which is something he is very interested in doing now. We were able to meet and talk with many friends that we have made in the adoption community on the internet.

KAAN is an organization whose time has come. The idea of having all the voices of Korean adoption come together with voices from the Korean government and the Korean American community is a very good one. I am sure that keeping all these many different people, who have different perspectives on what is important is a very challenging task. I would like to commend Chris Winston, Lindy Gelber, and all the other people who worked on this conference for the opportunities they gave everyone who attended.

Jan King, Adoptive Parent, Murfreesboro, Tennessee

To Kaan
For me, memories of my past life living in an orphanage for seven years brought much shame throughout my life. However, I felt deeply indebted to my adoptive parents for many years to the point where I could not "disappoint" them in away way. My wish and dream to be an American girl and having a American family were foremost on my mind. Therefore, I lost my Korean language, eating with chopsticks and eating Korean food that was so familiar to me for 7 years in Korea. Yet my heart longed for identification and searching for answers that could not be voiced to my adoptive parents.

A peace corp worker named Sally Stocking had taken a few pictures of me as a child in the orphanage. I still have those black and white pictures of Sally and I visiting the outside walls of the orphanage. I decided someday that I would find Sally again and about 30 years later, we were reunited through the internet and email in 1998. I invited Sally to attend the KAAN conference in hopes that we could put some of the pieces together of my adoption and what were the circumstances surrounded staying in an orphanage for me until the age of 7, why was I not able to attend school while I was in the orphanage, why did the adoption process take a total of 3 years before coming to America, and if I could find some of my Korean friends from the orphanage that I still love and cherish until this day.

During the conference, I was only expecting to find answers and instead I found something even greater. I thought I had closed a chapter in my life which I learn to accept and not dwell on and that was finding my birthparents. Internally, I believed that I was doing the right thing in saving-face for my birthparents as well as not disappointing my adoptive parents. My adoptive parents meant the world to me and therefore I never initiated my interest in finding identity, my history, and my longing to find my birthparents. The most powerful and poignant moment was listening to the birthparents. I could not understand any of the Korean words they were saying, but their body language, their tears, their fears and their deeps sense of pain awoke many emotions in me. Sally and I cried throughout this session and the impact was so profound that I even could not control the suppressed feelings of longing to know my birthparents. The man next to me at the conference asked why I was crying and I had told him that I had believed for so long that if I was acculturated and be more American that I would find true happiness and now after hearing these birthparents who I even can't understood a word their saying, I feel that they were able to reach me not through the front door of my heart but through a window that I had left open slightly. And the birthparents were able to find that window to my heart and speak to me in ways that break the layers of denial that I have been hiding all these years.

After the conference, Sally and I talked all night and decided that it was a good idea to find my birthparents. The next day, I attended the a workshop on talking with your adoptee children regarding their feelings of adoption, finding birthparents, and their identity.

A few adoptive parents felt powerless in their situation in helping their adoptee children because of geographic isolation and access to resources and Korean cultural programs. One parent said that her family is contemplating moving to a small town, Red Bluff, where there are no Koreans. I replied that, it will be a very difficult road for your adoptee children to be accepted. Isolation will be the culprit to the child's emotional and psychological well being. I never felt truly safe growing up in Red Bluff as well. I had to learn "survival skills." I thought the school would be safe, churches would be safe, grocery stores would be safe and even attending social gatherings like the County fair was not safe. I was not truly safe. It was not a safe environment and that town has not changed even as I speak today. There are alot of invisible barriers and undercurrents that the adoptee child(ren) will be faced with and will not be able to express the cruelty of peers even if they are the child's friends and undermining the child's academic and sports achievements to list a few.

It is very basic need that a being of human being requires is to feel accepted, wanted and needed. I believe strongly that if you are going to raise an adoptee child, one should take the time to really research areas that provide a conducive non-hostile environments where the adoptee child has a chance to explore options. Having a supportive family is not enough. It takes a whole village to raise a child and that includes adoptee children. There is in no way one can protect their children from all the dangers in life but you can arm your child with social skills, conflict resolutrion skills and most importantly survival skills.

The KAAN conference, in a nutshell, provided the means for adoptees and adoptive parents and even agencies to come away with a little wisdom, and little openness to positive changes. In the beginning of the conference, the conference represented a roughly made diamond that has many facets expressing people's perspectives, lives and experiences. During the conference, attendee's began to share their personal stories of heartaches or triumphs. In the end I felt like precious gem listening to adoptees and adoptive parents emotional stories. The last day of the conference, the brilliancy of the diamond manifested with the last speaker poignant story. I thank you from the bottom of heart and depth of my soul.

Kari Lane, adult adoptee, Davis, California

To Kaan
There were unique happenings at this conference that were unlike any of the many other adoption conferences I have attended. The coming together of the non-adopted Korean American community and the adopted Korean America community created a synergy and hopefulness that I have not experienced elsewhere. Many adoptive families and adoptees have felt so isolated. The workshops gave positive, concrete examples of how this can be accomplished and gave me great personal enthusiasm to take this home and try to work for this goal in my own community. The second topic I felt was unique was the openness toward search. Knowing there are birth families in Korea who are initiating searches, and who are willing to acknowledge their birth children was exciting, and probably very surprising to many attendees. Agencies have led parents to believe that most birth families would be unreceptive to acknowledging their child or for any contact. As the birth mother workshop and the search workshop revealed, this is many times not the case. There was a great sense of hopefulness. It was also unique to have adult adoptees have a strong presence. I think adoptive parents need to realize that their child is only living for 18 years in a Caucasian parenting relationship, then perhaps 70 years as an adult who needs all the skills and knowledge of being a Korean American. We have so much to learn from the adult adoptees!

Marcy Gitt, adoptive parent, Ellicott City, Maryland