KAAN Books

A Euro-American on a Korean Tour at a Thai Restaurant in China
by Chris Winston

$25.95
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“As the title implies, this book is about perspective, and the author shares her personal perspective as a Caucasian mother of three children, two of whom were adopted from Korea. Chris Winston’s life changed when she traveled to Korea to meet her daughter for the first time. Her perspective on family, life, love and so many other things changed the minute she brought a child of a different ethnicity into her life. In her book, she shares her adoptive parent journey with others, so they can better understand her perspective.

Winston speaks as a parent and leader in the Korean adoption community. Her voice is strong and clear as she provides wisdom to those who follow in her footsteps as adoptive parents. She offers powerful insight to help others in raising their transracially adopted children to adulthood. "A Euro American on a Korean Tour at a Thai Restaurant in China" is a strong piece of work that will serve as a wonderful guide to other adoptive families.

As president of the Korean Adoptee/Adoptive Network, Winston has the unique perspective of helping establish a national organization designed to fit the needs of the entire Korean American community, especially adoptive families. I believe this wisdom gives her much credibility, and it would be wise for parents of transracial adoptees to pay close attention to Winston’s successes and failures with this organization. One day the Chinese adoptees will seek a similar organization to address their needs, and they will be lucky that the groundwork has already been established.

For those looking for the step beyond the basics of parenting transracially adopted children, this would be a great book to read. While reading, remember to open your heart and mind to new thoughts and ideas and this book will unfold some wonderful suggestions.”
— Kim Phagan-Hansel, editor Adoption Today magazine

“What a wonderful book this is. Chris Winston shares her gift of experience, insight, and humor that all families—especially those who are part of the adoption circle—will relate to.”
— Marie Myung-Ok Lee, author of Somebody’s Daughter

“This is a history about creating connections beyond the usual comfort zones of white people in general and adoptive parents in particular. It is the story of a special community being created and coming true as told by one of its key activists.”
— Tobias Hübinette a.k.a. Lee Sam-dol, Ph.D. in Korean Studies, Department of Oriental Languages, Stockholm University

“Chris Winston’s book is a how-to-manual on developing a local adoptive organization from the ground up. Chris describes the many years building links within the Korean adoptive community and the Korean American community, that ultimately led to the development of a national Korean adoptive organization. Finally, this is the story of her own family, the adoption of two children from Korea, and how these events changed her life and those of the children she brought home from Korea.”
— Rosetta Capper, editor of Adoption Australia magazine

“Told with insight and sensitivity, Winston relates the story of building bridges for and with her Korean-born children, linking them to their dual heritages, so they would be able to walk comfortably in both worlds. Using the experiences of her now grown children as her guide, she offers a powerful parenting model for those who have adopted children from any heritage, international or domestic, that is different from their own.”
— Allison Branscombe, past president Families with Children from China - Northern California

“In responding to her own adopted children’s needs, Chris Winston and fellow pioneers gradually birthed a new kind of Korean American community. She describes with honesty the pain and joy of her family’s transformation into a Korean American family, and how, in extending this effort to others, adopted Koreans were empowered to claim their place as an emerging group of Korean Americans. This book chronicles the long journey to community, and all the persistence, patience, and diplomacy that journey demands of us.”
— Martha Vickery, editor Korean Quarterly

“Adoptees, experts say, will likely undergo an identity crisis on a more serious level than others. It is not difficult to assume the challenge will increase if the adoptees do not share the race — or more bluntly, skin color — with their adoptive parents. And when those adoptees turn to their own ethnic community, realizing their different upbringings cannot make them fit into that community either — another frustration.

Such are the layers of challenge involving interethnic adoption. Hence comes the complexity of Chris Winston‘s book title ‘A Euro-America on a Korean Tour at a Thai Restaurant in China’. The book was published last month. Winston is an American with two adopted Korean children.

‘It is a big deal to lose your original parents. Most don’t,’ Winston, 50, president of the Korean American Adoptee Adoptive Family Network (KAAN), told The Korea Times during her visit to Seoul for the 8th annual KAAN conference held June 30 through July 2. ‘And inter-country adoptees lost their heritage at that. When they later struggle to reclaim it, it’s also a challenge,’ she said.

Winston, who due to fertility problems could not give birth to another child after her first son, Alexis, felt three was a very small family. When she and her husband, Mark, decided to adopt, they did not necessarily consider inter-country adoption. But the timing and the agencies’ situation led them to a meeting with their first adoptive daughter Diana, then 1-year-old, from South Korea in April 1988, shortly before the Seoul Olympics.

Having fallen in love with Korea during their first visit to pick up Diana and, hoping to balance the ethnicity in their family, they began another adoption process in 1989. This was despite Korea’s slow international adoption process arising from the Korean government’s upset over negative publicity about the nation being a child-exporting country. David, then five, joined the family in November 1989.

‘David and Diana were meant to be my kids,’ Winston said.

Of course, raising children of a different ethnicity invited many challenges. There were, among others, racial teasing at their schools, perhaps not all blatant, but subtle and persistent. ‘Not having faced it myself. I didn’t know how to teach them.’ Winston said.

But she did what she could for her children. An account in the book tells, for example, how an otherwise well-loved teacher, whose class most parents fought to get their kids into, only reluctantly agreed to cancel a song performance on a multicultural day after protests from Winston and her Japanese-American friend.

David, who was then in the second grade, did not like that some of his classmates bowed to him after the Disney song, sung with inaccurate, accented English and went something like: ‘We are Siameeiz if you pleeiz. We are Siameeiz, if you don’t pleeiz.’ As the Japanese-American friend put it, ‘having one’s ethnicity appreciated as cute is not always comfortable.’

While Winston’s book deals with many illustrative anecdotes involving adoptees, it is based on the perspective of an adoptive parent tremendously affected by the inter-country adoption experience. As Winston said:‘It’s getting to see how other people think, and overall a more interesting life.’

While Americans can be very insular, for example with their let’s give them democracy attitude, inter-country adoption stimulated her to have more interest in world affairs, and the sense of knowing who she is. Winston said.

Her book also provides readers with rich perspectives and experiences as told by many of her acquaintances — adoptees, adoptive parents, Koreans, and Korean-Americans — as well as her own family members.

Indeed, what makes Winston special is her reaching out to the Korean-American community and other adoptive families, out of her genuine love for her children and hope for helping them benefit from their dual heritage. It has not been easy. Tensions and misunderstandings that occur in the process are well documented in the book.

Yet such interactions have resulted in valuable connections over the years. Starting out with the Friends of Korea in Sacramento, California, in 1995, Winston was also a key activist in founding KAAN in 1998.

While KAAN has held previous annual conferences in various U.S. cities, this is the first to be held in Seoul, co-organized with the International Korean Adoptee Services. This time, KAAN members also met with Korean adoptive parents.

‘It was wonderful.’ Winston said. ‘How similar we are and how we worried about the same things in adoption issues. We’re supportive of each other.’

Chapters in Winston’s books are each sub-titled with Korean proverbs. As the proverb for ‘Building a Network’ chapter has it, ‘Even a sheet of paper seems lighter when two people lift it together.’ ”
— Seo Dong-shin, Staff Reporter The Korea Times Newspaper

In April 1988, Chris Winston and her husband, Mark, began to experience life as the adoptive parents of a one year old Koreanborn daughter, Diana, and a nine year old son, Alexis, who was born to them. Their son David, then five and a half, joined the family from Korea in December 1989. The founder of two adoption community organizations, Friends of Korea in Northern California and The Korean American Adoptee Adoptive Family Network (KAAN), a national networking organization, Chris’ life’s work has been in creating opportunities for dialogue. She hopes that this book will be one more such opportunity. Proceeds from this book will be used on projects that promote better insight and understanding within the adoption community.